Diaries
Everything
Who's Online?
FAQ / Help

Print Story Calling Generals and Majors...
Wizards and Hobbits
By Bob Abooey (Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 11:02:22 AM EST) Breaking down the 08 Presidential Race (all tags)
The B.A.D.tm

Rescuing cats from trees since 1977...


On Saturday I made the cardinal mistake of going to the Huge Hawk local food outlet whilst hungry. Now I have to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do with 20 bags of Oreo cookies and 15 cans of Hershey's syrup. That's the thing that sucks about being an adult. Sure - we've got all these freedoms and we can do all the stuff our parents wouldn't let us do - but it turns out they restricted our freedoms with good reason in most cases. You want to eat 15 pieces of pizza before going to bed - have at it. You want to eat a box of cheesey poofs before dinner - knock yourself out big fella. Just don't come crying to Uncle Bob later when you later have some issues.

I pulled muscle in my hand, or my thumb, or something like that, as such I'm taking a few days off from my quest to become a famous rock star. Anyone who doesn't think learning to play guitar isn't hard has never tried to do it. I think it's right up there with power-lifting and decathlon training with regards to the demands it puts on your body. If you think I'm exaggerating let me see you do a 8 fret stretch while contorting your poor stubby little fingers into positions God never intended them to go into. Ha - all of a sudden running a 4 minute mile seems pretty simple.

Speaking of running miles and whatnot - I bought some new trainers on Saturday. So far they feel pretty good - as they should since they cost my about two months rent. Really. I tried on about 20 different pair of shoes before deciding on these. The sales guy was warily eyeing me for about the last 15 minutes (I was there a good while) as I think he may have suspected I was some nefarious thug up to no good. That said - to his credit he didn't come over and try to assist me. As a bonus since I got some Nike's I can rest easy knowing that I'm feeding 20 Chinese families for a month with my purchase.

Speaking of buying crap - I bought a new cordless phone on Saturday too. I was quite the little consumer this weekend. In fact I would expect the GNP to show a spike up today when they get news of the weekend sales and whatnot. But that's beside the point here. My point is I've got a new "Can't Fail" method to stop the Best Buy cashier drones from going on and on in an attempt to sell you a $20 extended warranty on your $40 phone. When they start to go into their song and dance you simply give them a quizzical look then state "No habla Inglis" a couple times. Game over baby. Speaking of Best Buy - they had the new Harvey Porter book on sake for $28 clams???? 28 clams for a Harry Potter book??? Are you kidding me???? I'll check it out of the library for FREE thank you very much.

Right. For lunch today I'll be having a top round fillet mignon super duper Roast Beef sandwich - as it would seem I've got about 10 pounds of the stuff to eat up before it goes all mouldy.

SPECIAL FEATURES

THE B.A.D. Novel

I felt for my phone only to find it was no longer in my pocket. My wallet and it's spilled contents laid by my side.

The B.A.D. TOP 500 Countdown

Coming in at 494: Towers of London - XTC.

< Ooops | BBC White season: 'Rivers of Blood' >

Login
Make a new account
Username:
Password:
Poll
Favourite parental decree to ignore:
- Running with scissors 12%
- Swimming right after eating 43%
- Eating candy right before dinner 12%
- Sticking your toungue on a frozen ice cube tray 6%
- Giving your brother an atomic wedgie 0%
- Eating massive amounts of food at one time 25%
- Sitting 6 inches away from the TV 25%
- Taking non over-the-counter mind altering substances 62%
- Talking to strangers 43%
- Wearing your shoes in the house 12%
- Leaving all the lights on 18%
- Staying up all night 37%
- Setting glasses on the end table sans coaster 18%
- Picking at your scabs 25%
- Dating negroes 56%
- Drink milk straight from the jug 68%
- Other - Right On! 12%

Votes: 16
Results | Other Polls
Related Links
- Bob Abooey's Diary
Google

Comment Controls
View: Display: Sort:
Calling Generals and Majors... | 25 comments (25 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
wipo: Don't do /that/ or you'll go blind. by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #1 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 11:10:40 AM EST
Don't post Harry Palmer Potter spoilers.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)


Yeah by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 11:16:18 AM EST
Except my parents never told me that. In fact they never even gave me "the talk" but rather they had a set of books (on how reproduction and syphilis etc etc happen) that they gave to me to read when I reached a certain age.

My folkii weren't really big on talking about certain things.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.
[ Parent ]

I got the book instead of the talk too. by greyshade (4.00 / 1) #20 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 05:49:32 PM EST
I was robbed.

"The other part of the fun is nibbling on them when they get off work." -vorheesleatherface
[ Parent ]

I haven't read it by Phage (2.00 / 0) #4 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 11:56:58 AM EST
Nor am I likely to.

Am I the only one who sees massive parallels with CS Lewis' Final battle ? I believe that he killed all of his characters off. No trauma forthe kiddies as everything was OK in the end because they were Christian.

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

Not with Last Battle by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #5 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 12:01:42 PM EST
But with LWW, yes. Also Tolkein. But then they drew from existing stories as well, so...

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)
[ Parent ]

Tolkein - yes by Phage (2.00 / 0) #6 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 12:03:43 PM EST
But apart from the major characters, what's the line up with the LWW kids ?

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

SPOILER by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #10 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 01:14:24 PM EST
Harry sacrifices himself, letting Voldemort kill him, and then comes back from the dead.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)
[ Parent ]

Bloody hell by Phage (2.00 / 0) #22 Tue Jul 24, 2007 at 03:14:37 AM EST
That is so......hackneyed. Very Wizard of Earthsea and Star Wars and a thousand others.

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

Well, yeah. by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #23 Tue Jul 24, 2007 at 08:19:45 AM EST
It's very derivative. So is LoTR. So is Narnia. But all of them are well-written derivatives.

Yes, Rowling's not in the same class as Tolkein and Lewis, but she's pretty good.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)
[ Parent ]

There's a great quote by Phage (4.00 / 1) #24 Tue Jul 24, 2007 at 09:39:20 AM EST
which I can't find.

JKR is not great literature, but she's great for literature.

The Czar of Accounting. No Nit Too Small To Pick
[ Parent ]

Yes by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #25 Tue Jul 24, 2007 at 10:09:25 AM EST
Hopefully some of the people who read HP will move on to LoTR, and maybe even Dickens.

HP is very Dickensian.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)
[ Parent ]

IRC Eustace and Jill didn't by wumpus (2.00 / 0) #21 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 06:42:46 PM EST
get killed. I suppose that puts them up with Isiah in reaching Heaven without dying.*

Wumpus
* didn't check before posting and expect correction on both Narnia and prophets.


[ Parent ]

new shoes by sasquatchan (2.00 / 0) #3 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 11:55:20 AM EST
did you ask the salesguy how much room there was in the cushioning of the heel.. Just in case it wears out and you, say, need to repack it with newspaper or nitrocellulose or something like that.. Then mention the plane flight you've got to go catch.



I don't think he would have cared by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #9 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 12:28:37 PM EST
Just so I didn't whop him on the head and run out without paying.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.
[ Parent ]

pizza with chocolate syrup on it? by alprazolam (2.00 / 0) #7 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 12:17:09 PM EST
actually if there's one thing you should get "assistance" with, it's running shoes. you're supposed to let them watch you walk and look at your feet and fit you with the ideal pair of running shoes.

my hp 7 was only $19.45 at walmart I think.



Aye by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #8 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 12:27:17 PM EST
But it wasn't that kind of shoe store.

I don't think the sales guy would have been able to help with much other than going into the back room to see if they had the shoe in different size.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.
[ Parent ]

I have to go to higher end shoe stors by wiredog (4.00 / 1) #11 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 01:16:39 PM EST
My foot is a 9EEEE. If my feet were boobs, they'd be Stacky's.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)
[ Parent ]

Crikey... by Bob Abooey (4.00 / 1) #12 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 01:37:02 PM EST
I'll bet all your shoes come with paint for your face and a colorful red ball to wear over your nose.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.
[ Parent ]

I wish by wiredog (2.00 / 0) #13 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 01:45:31 PM EST
I hear clowns get lots of hot action.

Earth First!
(We can strip mine the rest later.)
[ Parent ]

library by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #14 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 03:06:25 PM EST
try finding a copy available in the next million years....better get your name on that waiting list...
---------
if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake


Right by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #15 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 03:46:10 PM EST
I need to read books 3, 4, 5, and 6 first - so I've got lots of time.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.
[ Parent ]

slow reader? by LilFlightTest (2.00 / 0) #16 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 04:00:01 PM EST
then again, some people possess the ability to put a book down. i don't, which means i got through the whole rest of the series in about 2 weeks. i'm waiting til my little brother is done with the new one before i nab it from him.
---------
if de-virgination results in me being able to birth hammerhead sharks, SIGN ME UP!!! --misslake
[ Parent ]

I read one word at a time by Bob Abooey (2.00 / 0) #17 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 04:30:12 PM EST
I think I read book one in a day - but I don't often have the time to just flop down on the couch and plow through a book.

Warmest regards,
--Your best pal Bob

How's my blogging: Call me at 209.867.5309 to complain.
[ Parent ]

yikes by alprazolam (2.00 / 0) #18 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 05:22:52 PM EST
i don't recommend reading the rest of the series one word at a time. better to read the first couple words on every page and then skim down to something that looks like it might be important. otherwise you'll be very bored.

[ Parent ]

wipo: Putting that in your mouth. by greyshade (4.00 / 1) #19 Mon Jul 23, 2007 at 05:48:23 PM EST
DDM still gripes about me picking strange things off the ground and always admonishes me not to put said thing in my mouth.

"The other part of the fun is nibbling on them when they get off work." -vorheesleatherface


Calling Generals and Majors... | 25 comments (25 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

Powered by Scoop   
 
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective companies. Comments and Stories are owned by the Poster and Licensed to "Hulver's site". See our Copyright page for more information.
faq | help | accounts